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25 marzo TheGreat Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater,Tx. Dear Citizens : The article printed below appeared in a local newspaper in Victorville , California.After reading this article I'm fairly certain you will chuckle and just dismiss it as yet more California foolishness. That attitude on your part would be a serious mistake.As the lead investigator in The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater , Tx. and a SAP{Sugar Awareness Police}Agent I can assure you that this situation is being thoroughly investigated. Preliminary Field Intelligence indicates that this is a plot hatched by The BASTARDS{The Bogota Alliance Of Sugar Trafficers Army of Ruinous Destruction} which is an allied group of The vile , insipid , nefarious terrorist group known as The Havana Sugar Cartel. The goals of this plot have not as yet been discovered.SAP will provide more details as they emerge. As always remain ---- VIGILANT!!  The BASTARDS are everywhere!!! If you should have any information regarding any activities of the vile insipid evil nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel or any of it's affiliated groups or if you should notice ANY suspicious behavior please feel free to contact us at my personal e-mail,the SAP toll free hot line , or simply leave a message in this blog. Do not worry about the security of this blog. Windows Live has a T.S. 25 security rating.It IS a secure channel. Major Dee Mentia Lead Investigator{T.G.S.A.C.S.T.} SAP H.Q. Sugar Mountain Area 61 Maple Sugar Country , U.S.A. Toll Free Tip Line 1-800-the-saps majordeemantia@yahoo.com www.spacedlaoshi.spaces.live.com " The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater Texas" and all characters ,places,plot lines. mythology or ANYTHING else even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spacedteacher. "The Great Sugar Assassination Caper Of Sweetwater Tx." while OBVIOUSLY the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil AND to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!! March 20, 2008 - 3:27PM
VICTORVILLE — With candy sales banned on school campuses, sugar pushers are the latest trend at local schools. Backpacks are filled with Snickers and Twinkees for all sweet tooths willing to pay the price.
16 marzo " The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater,Tx." "The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater , Tx" Ch : I'm not counting. Are you? "Betty Crocker,Mrs. Fields , Mrs. Butterworth , Sara Lee , The Pillsbury Doughboy ,Ben and Jerry etc.etc. Dear Citizens of Fubar: I view of the kidnapping yesterday of Aunt Jemima , Gen May Laze ,the Director of The Homeland Safety Agency has ordered me to put the above listed people into protective custody. She seems to feel that having ANOTHER American Icon kidnapped would not be good for the people's morale during these perilous times. I agree with her. It shall be done!! If you can think of any American Icon that may be the victim of a kidnapping by the vile , insipid , evil , nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel or any of it's affiliated groups please feel free to leave their names in the comment field of my blog and we SAPS will assess their security needs.Do not be concerned about a security leak at Fubar. They have a T.S.15 rating. Fubar IS a secured channel. As always REMAIN VIGILANT The BASTARDS!!!! are everywhere. Major Dee Mentia Lead Investigator {T.G.S.A.C.S.T. Area 61 SAP HQ 1-800-WHO-CARES Maple Sugar Country U.S.A. www.fubar.com/confusedzyljian " The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater,Tx." Breaking News!!Hot Off The Wires!!Breaking News!! Dear Citizens of Fubar : It is with great sorrow and sadness in my heart that I must inform you of the kidnapping of the beloved American Icon Aunt Jemima. Details are sketchy at the moment. As more information surfaces I will keep you informed. I can tell you though that a Hershey's Kiss was found at the the scene of the crime. That would seem to indicate that the insipid , vile , evil Havana Sugar Cartel or one of their affiliated groups was behind this crime. Rest assured citizenry The SAPS WILL get to the bottom of this. We WILL rescue the beloved Aunt Jemima and bring her home. As always in these perilous times we urge you to be vigilant. Should you have any information regarding this heinous crime or view any suspicious activities please call The SAPS at our hot line number 1-800-WHO-CARES. You can also leave your tips in this forum as comments Rest assured Fubar has a T.S.15. rating. It is a secure channel. REMAIN ALERT!!! The BASTARDS are everywhere. Major Dee Mentia Lead Investigator{T.G.S.A.C.S.T.} SAP H.Q. -- AREA 51{1-800-WHO-CARES} Maple Sugar Country U.S.A. www.fubar.com/spacedteacher " The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater Texas" and all characters ,places,plot lines. mythology or ANYTHING else even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spacedteacher. "The Great Sugar Assassination Caper Of Sweetwater Tx." while OBVIOUSLY the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil AND to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!! " The Great Suagar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater,Tx.""The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater ,Tx." Chapter "I Lost Count"LoL The French Connection or Creme Brule Can Be Dangerous To Your Health" The first tangible evidence in the case emerged in 2004 in Paris ,France. A very famous and prestigious French Chef had recently opened a new restaurant to much critical acclaim. This gentleman owned four or five other restraunts that had all earned a ***** 5 star rating in the Michelin Restraunt guide. Taking his previous track records into account Michelin premiered his restraunt with a ***** 5 star rating. This was unprecedented!!! Business was good for about a month. Everything was going well in the eyes of the owner. The Michelin critics thought differently and drop the rating to 3.5 stars in the next months issue. On the very day that the rating was dropped a very important influential French gentleman by the name of Jean Claude Phillipe had reservations for dinner. The French chef being distraught over his ratings drop did not have one of his better culinary efforts.Mssr. Phiilipe thought that considering the prices in this establishment any less than "c'est magnifique" was not acceptable. He asked to speak to the chef. The chef being a temperamental culinary artiste and distraught over his misfortune refused. We ALL know how the French can be !!! Mr. Phillipe excused himself from his table calmly walked into the kitchen and drowned the chef in a bowl of creme brule and then vanished. Nobody saw or heard a thing. This crime was committed in plain sight and hearing of about 250 restraunts patrons and yet there was not ONE SINGLE CLUE!! No one saw a thing!! Except the FARTS. The Farts are the French Armed Resistance to Traffickers of Sugar. They are a quasi governmental French agency that operates in the shadows right on the edge of French law. They are very effective. The Sugar Assassins FEAR the FARTS.{What the Hell is the matter with the French. Didn't somebody realize that this was a horrible acronym? Oh well c'est la vie I guess} The FARTS had intelligence that a Sugar Assassin was operating in the Paris area so they were on their guard. As luck would have it there was a FART agent having dinner in that restrant that very night. The whole incident happened so quickly that he was not able to apprehend Mssr. Phillipe or get a picture but he knew the REAL story. He notified the SAPS and ever since they and us have been cooperating on this case ever since The French news papers reported the whole incident as a distraught chef comitting suicide over having his Michelin Restraunt guide rating dropped. The real story is that Mr. Phillipe was a Sugar Assassin of the vile , insipid , evil Havana Sugar Cartel who was sent to Paris to assassinate the chef because the chef refused to use Havana sugar in his restaraunt's recipes. He insisted on using the rival cartel , the Bogota Association of Sugar Traffics Aligned for Ruinous Destruction A.K.A. the BASTARDS, products. Havana was PISSED!! What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a turf war amongst all the various affiliated groups within the vile , evil nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel. To date we have not been able to obtain a picture of him but we have been able to discover his true identity which is Ricardo Edrigo Perez. His Sugar Assassin call name is "Sweet Boy" If you should happen to see this gentleman be aware that he is armed and EXTREMELY dangerous. He probably has 10-12 highly charged Three Musketeers on his person at all times. Give him a wide berth. Avoid him at all costs. Call the SAPS immediately!! As usual if you have any information regarding this or any other crimes perpetrated by the vile, insipid , evil Havana Sugar Cartel or any of it's affiliated groups or any individual Sugar Assassin notify the SAPS immediately. as always -- REMAIN VIGILANT!!! The BASTARDS are everywhere. Major Dee Mentia Lead Investigator : {T.G.S.A.C.S.T.} Area 61 SAP HQ 1-800-WHO-CARES Maple Sugar Country U.S.A. www.fubar.com/confusedzyljian "The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater,Tx." "The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater Tx" Chapter 1: " Havana Day Dreaming" or " The Havana Sugar Cartel Strikes" In the Spring of 2002 a rather elderly but alert gentleman by the Name of Mr. Barton Park of Sweetwater , Texas began receiving,anonymously, baked goods from bakeries all over the country. Mr.Park being a diabetic and a naturally suspicious man,and ever mindful of the extremely difficult security situation his country was facing as a result of the events of Sept.11.2001 did what all good Americans would do. He called the authorities. In this case that was the Sugar Awareness Police A.K.A., affectionately we hope,the SAPS. The SAPS are Federal Agents under the direct supervision of The Homeland Safety Agency.The case was assigned to me as the Lead Investigator. My name is Major Dee Mentia. An investigation was launched. Preliminary field intelligence seemed to indicate that vile , despicable , nefarious terrorist group The Havana Sugar Cartel was behind the attempted assassination of Mr.Park. We have no idea why they would want to assassinate an elderly retired gentleman such as Mr.Park. I assure all citizens that we WILL get to the bottom of this. What we do know of the Havana Sugar Cartel is that they employ assassins,known as Sugar Assassins,to do their dirty work.In a rather cruel and ironic twist the Sugar Assassins ALWAYS use sugar in one form or another to kill their victims. Since we now know that there is a Sugar Assassin operating in the Sweetwater Tx. area we urge all citizens of Texas to be EXTREMELY vigilant!!If you should go out to dinner in the immediate future you might want to think carefully about ordering that apple pie or carrot cake. We ask for the cooperation of the public at large in the on going investigation.If you have ANY information that may pertain to this investigation please feel free to call us at our toll free hot line 1-800-The-SAPS or leave your tips in this forum as comments. Do not worry FUBAR is a secure site. they have TOP SECRET or T.S.15 clearance. In the coming weeks and months I will bring you up to date on past developments as well as current ones. In the meantime be------ HIGHLY VIGILANT!!! The bastards are EVERYWHERE!!! Major Dee Mentia Lead Investigator{T.G.S.A.C.S.T.} Area 61 1-800-THE-SAPS Maple Sugar Country U.S.A. By Spacedteacher www.fubar.com/confusedzyljian {Blogs} "The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater Tx" "Scarlett And Zyl's Satanic Romance" "The AdventuresOfAGlazedConfusedLysdexic Zyljian" " The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater Texas" and all characters ,places,plot lines. mythology or ANYTHING else even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spacedteacher. "The Great Sugar Assassination Caper Of Sweetwater Tx." while OBVIOUSLY the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil AND to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!! 01 marzo Oral English Class Topic For April - May 3 , 2008Dear Students :
The topic for this week's classes is :
" The Pascagoula Run "
Come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared
to "think on your feet."
Some of the questions I WILL ask are " What " rites of passage " must
Chinese young people go through before they are considered adults?" "
Did you have a fun exciting relative such as the one in the song?" "
What did you and this person do that you will always remember?" Please
be prepared to give me a full,detailed and specific answer.Please make
sure to either copy or write down the lyrics and bring them to class. I
will play the song for you.I will now give you a little hint. Many
American songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor
will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It
is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do
NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be. Dear Students :
The topic for this week's classes is :
" Gypsies In The Palace "
Come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared
to "think on your feet."
Some of the questions I WILL ask are " Have you ever been " A Gypsy in
the palace?" " If so how did you celebrate?" " What did your parents
say about your experience of being " a Gypsy in the palace?" Please be
prepared to give me a full,detailed and specific answer.Please make
sure to either copy or write down the lyrics and bring them to class. I
will play the song for you.I will now give you a little hint. Many
American songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor
will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It
is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do
NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be.
" The Pascogoula Run " By Jimmy Buffett Oral English Class Topic For April 22 - 26 , 2008Dear Students :
The topic for this week's classes is :
" Gypsies In The Palace "
Come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared
to "think on your feet."
Some of the questions I WILL ask are " Have you ever been " A Gypsy in
the palace?" " If so how did you celebrate?" " What did your parents
say about your experience of being " a Gypsy in the palace?" Please be
prepared to give me a full,detailed and specific answer.Please make
sure to either copy or write down the lyrics and bring them to class. I
will play the song for you.I will now give you a little hint. Many
American songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor
will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It
is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do
NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be.
" Gypsies In The Palace " By Jimmy Buffett
So long Boss, knock 'em dead, don't worry 'bout a thing Oral English Class Topic For April 15 - 19 , 2008Dear Students :
The topic for this week's classes is :
" Off To See The Lizard "
Come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared
to "think on your feet."
Some of the questions I WILL ask are " What legends did your parents
tell you when you were young to excite you? How do you go " off to see
the lizard"? " Where do you go when you go " off to see the lizard" and
what do you do? Please be prepared to give me a full,detailed and
specific answer.Please make sure to either copy or write down the
lyrics and bring them to class. I will play the song for you.I will now
give you a little hint. Many American songs have deep hidden meaning. A
lot of metaphor will
be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It is
right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do NOT
make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be.
" Off To See The Lizard " By Jimmy Buffett I was raised by a maid who came from Oral English Class Topic For April 8 - 12, 2008Dear Students :
The topic for this week's classes is :
" Fruitcakes"
Come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared
to "think on your feet."
Some of the questions I WILL ask are Do you think the " lao wai" are
"fruitcakes"?If so why do you think that" What have you seen the " lao
wai" do that you think is strange or "fruitcakes"? Please be prepared
to give me a full,detailed and specific answer.Please make sure to
either copy or write down the lyrics and bring them to class. I will
play the song for you.I will now give you a little hint. Many American
songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor
will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It
is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do
NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be.
" Fruitcakes" By Jimmy Buffett
You know I was talking to my friend desdemona the other day she Oral English Class Topic For April 1 - 5 , 2008Dear Students : The topic for this week's classes will be: "Cheeseburger In Paradise" Please
come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared
to "think on your feet."
One of the questions I WILL ask you is what you like to eat and why?
Please be prepared to give me a full,detailed and specific
answer.Please make sure to either copy or write down the lyrics and
bring them to class. I will play the song for you.I will now give you a
little hint. Many American songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor
will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It
is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do
NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be.
"Cheeseburger In Paradise" By Jimmy Buffett Tried to amend my carnivorous habits Oral English Class Topic For March 25 - 29 2008Dear Oral English Students : The topic for this weeks classes is : "A Frenchman For The Night" Please
come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future.One of the questions I WILL ask you for this
lesson is as follows " If you could be any nationality EXCEPT Chinese
for 1 week which nationality would you choose and why?" Please prepare
carefully for this question and give detailed specific answers.As usual
I will also ask other questions regarding this lesson. Please consider
this carefully and be prepared to "think on your feet."
Please make sure to either copy or write down the lyrics and bring them
to class. I will play the song for you.I will now give you a little
hint. Many American songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor
will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It
is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do
NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be.
" A Frenchman For The Night " By Jimmy Buffett
From his driftwood castle Oral English Class Topic For March 18 - 22 , 2008Dear Oral English Students: The topic for our classes of March 18 - 22 , 2008 is :
"The Bank Of Bad Habits" Please
come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases
I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you
questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect
your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared
to "think on your feet."
Please make sure to either copy or write down the lyrics and bring them
to class. I will play the song for you.I will now give you a little
hint. Many American songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor
will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It
is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do
NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be.
"The Bank Of Bad Habits" by Jimmy Buffett Ortal English Lesson March 11 , 2008 -March 15 , 2008 March 01 Oral English Lesson For The Week Of March 23 - 27 , 2009 Dear Students See you in class Allen As we sat on the front porch Oral English Lesson For The Week Of March 23 - March 27 , 2009 - March 15 ,2008 Dear Students  :Your lesson for the week of March 23 - 27 ,2009 is as described below : "Where Corn Don't Grow" Please come to class prepared to tell me the meanings of the words and phrases I have underlined and the meaning of the song. I will also ask you questions about how this song effects your life or how it may effect your life in the future. Please consider this carefully and be prepared to "think on your feet." Please make sure to either copy or write down the lyrics and bring them to class. I will play the song for you.I will now give you a little hint. Many American songs have deep hidden meaning. A lot of metaphor will be used.This song has a very deep meaning but it is not hidden. It is right on the surface. This is NOT a difficult assignment. Please do NOT make it any more difficult on yourselves than it needs to be. The goal of this lesson is threefold.: 1: To help you learn some new vocabulary. 2: To help you understand how people's life experiences effect the culture in the form of music in this case but also literature , art , food , architecture etc etc. 3: To impart some practical real life knowledge based upon experience. See you in class Allen  As we sat on the front porch Of that old grey house where I was born and raised Starin' at the dusty fields Where my daddy worked hard every day I think it kinda hurt him when I said Daddy There's a lot that I don't know But don't you ever dream about a life Where corn don't grow He just sat there silent Staring at his favorite coffee cup I saw a storm of mixed emotion in his eyes When he looked up He said Son I know at your age Seems like this ol' world is turning slow And you think you'll find the answer to it all Where corn don't grow Hard times are real There's dusty fields No matter where you go You may change your mind 'Cause the weeds are high Where corn don't grow I remember feeling guilty When Daddy turned and walked back in the house I was only seventeen back then But I thought that I knew more than I know now I can't say he didn't warn me This city life's a hard row to hoe Ain't it funny how a dream can turn around Where corn don't grow Hard times are real There's dusty fields No matter where you go And you may change your mind 'Cause the weeds are high Where corn don't grow You may change your mind Oh the weeds are high Where corn don't grow |
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